Synopsis
Last week, in an attempt to make his wait for the Wii instantaneous, Cartman froze himself. Through a bizarre twist of fate, he woke up 500 years in the future, where there are warring factions, some angry sea otters, and worst of all: No Nintendo Wii! Will Cartman get out of this crazy future? Or will he be doomed to never get his hands on the Wii? Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire
Full Recap
Last week is briefly recapped and Cartman a la Buck Rogers is still 500 years in the future, where the sea otters ride ostriches. The otters bring Cartman to New New Hampshire’s Museum of Technology, where Cartman finally gets his hands on a Nintendo Wii. Cartman double crosses the otters and returns to UAA headquarters. He gives them the information crystal they want and he Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire wants a maintenance guy to hook up his Wii to his float screen. However, the maintenance guy can’t make such old technology work with the float screen. Cartman is sick of the future. Even Cartman’s old friend K-10 won’t make him happy. The information crystal has given the UAA knowledge on where the AAA will be digging for clams. The organizations are at odds because they each have a different answer to the great question. The UAL is aware of what both the UAA and AAA are up to. The UAL knows that their answer is the correct one and they plan an attack. While hating future TV, Cartman sees an ad for a “Crank Prank Timephone” and decides he needs to get one so that he can call himself in the past and keep from freezing himself. When he can’t pay the 6000 credits for one, he has his robot dog K-10 access the store’s records so that he can find someone who’s recently bought one. Meanwhile the AAA awaits the UAL and UAA’s impending battle and they intended to come in and attack both.
Back in the distant past someone has just gotten a crank call from the future, from the boys whose “Crank Prank Timephone” Cartman steals. The AAA prepares for battle, but they get some advice from a wise one that they decide not to head. Back in South Park of the past Cartman receives a call from his future self and his future self can’t believe what an asshole he is. When that doesn’t work, he calls Butters, who only gets confused. Future Cartman still can’t convince himself when his past self gets on the line. The UAA starts their attack on the AAA, and while their city is unprotected the UAL begins their attack on the UAA. Cartman calls Kyle in the past, but he can’t convince Kyle that he is call from the future and Kyle should stop him. He even offers to suck Kyle’s balls dry. Cartman’s call causes Kyle to miss his ride and as a result the future has become affected, as exemplified by K-10 the robot dog turning into KIT-9 the robot kitty.
The UAL, the UAA and the now AAA are at war. The three groups are all at war with each other of what Atheists should call themselves. While the battle rages on, KIT-9 suggests that Cartman try calling the wife of the smartest man in all of history, the one called Garrison. Cartman makes the call and Dawkins picks up the phone in midst of their lovemaking. When Dawkins finds out that Garrison had a sex change operation he becomes disgusted with himself for being so stupid. In the future things have changed and Cartman is told that “isms” have
Version:1.0 StartHTML:0000000164 EndHTML:0000002981 StartFragment:0000002761 EndFragment:0000002945 SourceURL:file://localhost/Users/mytymouse1/Desktop/names
been gotten rid of, since they usually lead to violence. Cartman is sent back home to the past and he Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire is reminded that “no one single answer is the answer.” Back at home, Cartman is outside EV games and tells his mother that he has learned to be patient, that is until he finds out that it is two months until the Nintendo Wii comes out.
